Just Hire Me Bro

A satirical job-hunting simulator about fake jobs, real rent, and the professional networking website that must not be named.

v1.0 — Fully offline. Collects nothing. Returns nothing. Like your applications.

Choose Your Origin Story

Every career starts somewhere. Even yours.

Lf

Linkfluence a Just Hire Me Bro game

📰 Linkfluence Feed

📝 Journal

Pick your background. Your origin story determines your starting stats and quirks.
Each day, you get Energy points (starts at 3). Spend them on feed cards — applying to jobs, posting on Linkfluence, networking, or resting.
Apply to jobs to create leads. Leads progress through stages: Applied → Auto-Screen → Recruiter → Interview → Offer. But many will ghost you. Investigate before applying!
Watch your stats. Rent drops every 5 days. If Hope hits 0, you spiral. If Money hits 0... well.
Use Investigate cards. They cost Energy but reveal ghost jobs and scams, saving you from wasting it on dead ends.
Survive 30 days. Land an offer, expose enough ghost jobs, or find another path to victory. Good luck. You'll need it.

Tip: Use Tab to navigate and Enter to activate buttons. Escape closes modals.

Just Hire Me Bro
A satirical job-hunting card game.
Punches up at hiring systems, not job seekers.

Special thanks to: Every person who has ever Easy-Applied into the void. Your pain is our inspiration.

Linkfluence is a fictional parody platform. No real recruiters were consulted (they're too busy ghosting).